The decision between an anonymous and a non-anonymous sperm donor
Before choosing the right sperm donor for you and your future child, you need to consider whether you want to have an anonymous or a non-anonymous sperm donor. For many people this is not an easy choice to make. Especially because you cannot know exactly how you or your child will feel and think in the future. In this blog post, we will walk you through some of the things to consider when choosing either an anonymous or non-anonymous sperm donor.
Anonymous sperm donors
Choosing an Anonymous Donor at Cryos means choosing a donor whose identity will never be disclosed to you or your child.
If you consider becoming pregnant with an anonymous sperm donor, there are a few important things for you to consider before making your decision. The first thing is the fact that the donor’s identity is completely confidential. This means that you will receive no more information than what is available in the donor’s profile, which applies regardless of the type of donor profile you choose (Basic or Extended Profile). It also means that your child will never have the opportunity to learn more about its origins when he or she grows up.
The donor has made the choice of being anonymous himself and has agreed that he will never reach out to or be contacted by the donor child. The choice cannot be changed by the donor nor by the customer.
Why go with an Anonymous Donor?
There may be various reasons as to why you would choose an anonymous sperm donor – maybe there are certain things you never want to know about your donor, or maybe you don’t want your child to become attached to the donor? Above all, your decision should be based on what feels right for you.
Most commonly, Anonymous Donors are chosen by individuals or couples who have a desire to build their own “family of their dreams” and only need the sperm to make it come true. These individuals and couples are usually not interested in getting attached to the donor by knowing his identity, and therefore perceive an Anonymous Donor as the best option for them.
It is completely up to you to decide whether or not you want your child to have the option to seek out their origins, and this is not something that appeals to everyone. If you don’t think your child should have the option in the future, we believe you should choose an Anonymous Donor. If you do find it important, you should maybe consider choosing a Non-anonymous Donor.
However, there may be some regulations in your country that prevents you from choosing for yourself. In some countries you can only have fertility treatment with Anonymous Donors, in other countries only Non-anonymous Donors. In some countries the choice between anonymous and non-anonymous is yours.
Non-anonymous sperm donors
Choosing a Non-anonymous Donor means choosing a donor whom your child can reach out to when he or she grows up.
If you consider becoming pregnant with a non-anonymous sperm donor, you should be aware of the fact that when your child turns 18 years old (in some countries it is earlier), he or she can contact Cryos and request information about the donor. Only the donor child can reach out to us, not the parents. This includes the donor’s contact information which gives the child the opportunity to reach out to the donor and learn more about its biological origins. This is an optional choice, and it is entirely up to the donor child to contact Cryos to receive the information. Cryos will never reach out to the child if we are not being contacted.
The donor has chosen to be non-Anonymous himself, and has agreed to the possibility that the donor child might contact him in the future.
Why go with a non-anonymous sperm donor?
Your decision to choose a non-anonymous sperm donor may be based on various reasons as well, and again you must listen to what your heart desires.
Non-anonymous Donors are popular, since it gives the child the opportunity to reach out to the donor when he or she grows up. Since the choice to reach out resides with the child only, many future parents think it is extremely valuable. In this way, it is possible for the donor child to get information beyond what is found in the donor profile and to learn more about where they come from.
Questions you can ask yourself in the process
- How much do you need to know about the donor to be able to choose the right one?
- Are there things that you don’t want to know about your sperm donor – now or in the future?
- What pros and cons do you personally see in choosing an anonymous and in choosing a non-anonymous sperm donor?
- How important is it to you to know your own biological origin?
- If you were donor-conceived yourself how much would you want to know about your donor?
- Do you want your child to have the opportunity of contacting the donor when she or he grows up?
- Will you and how will you talk to your child about the donor in the future?
Want to know more? Read the blog post ‘Choosing a sperm donor – what to think about?’ or read about the different donor types on our website, including the differences between basic donor profiles and extended donor profiles.