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Helga and Maria's donor children
Two mums and four donor children: Helga and Maria’s story – Part 2
The lesbian mums Helga and Maria
Two mums and four donor children: Helga and Maria’s story – Part 1
Reading a book about having a donor child
8 great books to read when having a donor child
Solo Mum Mel and her baby
Solo Mum Mel: How to accept having a baby without a partner

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Single mother to a donor child

Single mother to a donor child gives 5 good tips

Becoming a single mother to a donor child is a difficult decision. 41-year-old Pernille knows everything about that – three years ago she had a child using a sperm donor. Here, she gives you 5 good tips if you are considering having a child as a single mother or if you are already in the process.

1. Find people to discuss with when choosing your sperm donor

Follow your gut feeling and choose the donor who is right for you. Use other people to discuss with, but choose the right people. Others cannot tell you what is the right to do for you, but the right people can ask the right questions. This way, it will become easier for you to know what is the right choice for you.

You can read about how to choose between an anonymous or a non-anonymous sperm donor here.

2. Practice being open about your choice

At an early stage before and during the pregnancy, you should practice being open about everything, also the challenges. Share your positive thoughts and your concerns with good friends and ask them for their support. You will need people who can support you on your journey and help you with practical things such has grocery shopping.

3. Get mental energy by having control over your economy

Buy secondhand equipment and clothes. It is expensive to have a little child, but you can manage it for a lot less than you think. To have control over your economy will give you mental energy, which you will need. You can for example find secondhand equipment and clothes online or in a thrift shop. There is a lot of nice and very cheap stuff to find.

4. Be honest to your child

Be open and honest to your child already when he or she is an infant. Tell the child how he or she came into the world at an early stage. This way, he or she will not be able to remember when the story was told for the first time. Practice this already before your child is born.

You can read good advice on how to talk to your child about being a donor child here.

5. Remember to get some alone time

It is important to create time for yourself without your child. Find one or more babysitters at an early stage. Temporaries in the nursery are good candidates because they will know your child from the nursery. This way, your child will not feel that he or she is being taken care of by a stranger.  

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If you are considering becoming a single mother using donor sperm, you may also be interested in reading this blog post about how 42-year-old Angie from The Netherlands made the decision to become a single mother. You can also read how to order donor sperm for your fertility treatment here.

Related posts

Helga and Maria's donor children Two mums and four donor children: Helga and Maria’s story – Part 2 The lesbian mums Helga and Maria Two mums and four donor children: Helga and Maria’s story – Part 1 Reading a book about having a donor child 8 great books to read when having a donor child Solo Mum Mel and her baby Solo Mum Mel: How to accept having a baby without a partner

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Categories

Cryos news

Donor children

Donor sperm

Fertility treatment

Personal stories

Pregnancy

Sperm donors