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Blog overview
Being the other mother to a donor conceived child

Being The Non-Bio Mum to a donor child – Lisa’s story

Lisa is a YouTuber and a mum to Teddy who she has together with her wife Lynsey. Lynsey is the biological mother of Teddy. Here, Lisa shares her personal experience being the non-biological mum to a donor child.

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Becoming a mother has been one of the greatest privileges of my life. Made even more special because my connection with Teddy is not one born out of genetics. I didn’t carry him inside of me, nor did I labour in pain to safely bring him into the world. Our connection is one he and I have nurtured, together. Our love for one another was born as he turned his head towards me when he heard my voice, even before his Mam, my wife Lynsey had been able to hold him, and has grown fast and deep ever since. I was literally the first person he laid eyes on as he dramatically entered the world at 6:01pm, one Saturday evening in March 2019.

Donor child Teddy with his mum Lisa

Teddy with his mum Lisa.

Dreams of a family

Lynsey and I had been actively trying for a baby for eight months before our successful round of mild IVF, although dreaming of a family for much longer. Our grand plan is for two kids, and my wife tried first, not because I don’t have a desire to be pregnant but rather she very openly wanted a biological child and for practical and rather boring financial reasons, it made sense for her to have baby number one. Age was not on our side.

Could I connect?

I was never worried about being the non-biological mother, not for a moment. I was blindly confident in my ability to love and care for a child born to my wife. I could never have imagined though, quite how deep that love could run, or how it would develop. Because it doesn’t just happen. What I have learnt is bonds and connections are nurtured through care and attention. Through hours soothing and rocking (don’t judge!) my son to sleep. This tiny, defenceless being didn’t ask to be here, he was our choice and it’s now my job to love and protect him. A job I take very seriously indeed. 

Teddy has two mums

While Teddy physically looks very much like Lynsey, he behaves like me. There is only one person who taught him to talk with his hands! When I see Teddy learn and develop it is clear we are in this together and in many ways, he is as much me as he is his Mam.

One family

I can’t claim to know if the love I feel is exactly the same way Lynsey feels. I don’t have anything to compare it to. I know we react to him slightly differently, and I’ve talked to other non-bio mums who have similar tales. Simply put, I can listen to him cry in a way Lynsey physically can’t… although when he’s in any real pain, we’re both a mess. To me it feels like our experience of being Teddy’s mum is the same, but different. If that makes any sense.

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Lisa and Lynsey share their life with cute little Teddy on their YouTube channel Teddy Has Two Mams. If you don’t follow them already, you should definitely pay their lovely and inspiring YouTube channel a visit.

If you are two mums (to be) considering using a donor to make the dream of a baby come true, you can start your journey by visiting Cryos free donor search here.

Related posts

Signe shares her coming out story A personal coming out story – Signe from  Cryos shares  her story  Teddys donor is a musician and likes to exercise Why we stopped worrying about what our donor looked like Lisa answers questions about being two mums Q&A with mum and YouTuber Lisa from Teddy has Two Mams Lesbian couple on a couch with computer 10 lovely two-mum families for you to follow on SoMe

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Categories

Categories

Cryos news

Donor children

Donor sperm

Fertility treatment

Personal stories

Pregnancy

Sperm donors